My long absence

Two weeks ago I lost my beautiful mother. She was only 63 years old. From her diagnosis with kidney cancer four years ago to her incredible journey of strength and courage in the last four years- she was a warrior.

Last summer in Jersey City, with New York City skyline as the backdrop

We laughed, we fought, we talked everyday. 

Yes, many people find it unbelievable that I would talk to my mom everyday as she lived in India and I lived in the US. But I feel like 11 years of daily conversations was preparing me for what will  seem to be an eternity without her.

She was an amazing cook and everyone would love an invite to eat her amazing fish and other Goan preparations. She was gentle and kind and also incredibly strong, smart and resourceful. She encouraged me, taught me & pushed me to invest money in stocks, make hot chapatis for my son, quit my full time job to be home with Mila and also to have my own business.

She was my shopping buddy and whether it was fashion street in Mumbai or Neiman Marcus at short hills, we enjoyed it all. Our favorite was all the handicraft shows in India and curating amazing textiles and some tchotchkes. 🙂

In the last 4 years she never stopped her pursuit of the good life- traveling extensively within India, to Dubai to meet us and even the New Jersey last summer. Sure she was in pain, going through horrible side effects of the treatments. Multiple tests every few weeks!

She participated in music events through her local teacher and performed on stage. 

She wanted to leave her legacy and even wrote a cookbook with all the amazing recipes she was known for among family & friends.

Not many can do the stuff in their regular life that she accomplished fighting stage 4 cancer.

She lives on in my brother, my dad and her grandkids. She passed on her love of reading to Mila & myself as well as our shared love of spending a whole after in Barnes & noble browsing books and sipping on a latte.

She was a very private person and not a huge fan of my Facebook shenanigans. But I share her with you today, because I want to tell you a few things.

Call your mom every damn day.

And secondly if you know someone who is battling cancer, stand by them everyday. There will be tough days, there will be down right shitty days, but it doesn’t have to be a death sentence. 

She was dead against having domestic help and except for the last couple of days she pulled through with just my dad. She was fiercely independent and when she could no longer live on her own terms she decided it was enough.

I’ll end by saying this... my mom had cancer but cancer never had my mom. 

Until we meet again, I’ll carry you in my heart every where I go.